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Vigeland - coupleUnderstanding your partner is easy. Just a few simple rules, which a woman should know.


Rosh tells Isha what men want & how to keep men happy.


She reciprocates...

Previous Story: Sole Mates

Rosh decided to make it easy on her by defining what men want.

“Men are an open book,” he said. “You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to understand them. There are just a few simple rules that a woman should know, and she’ll be sweet.”

Isha cocked an eye at him and waited.

“Rule 01,” he began. “Anything we said last month is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.”

“Rule 02. If we said something that could be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way.”

“Rule 03. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we really know how pretty you are?”

“Rule 04. Don’t rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.”

“Rule 05. You can EITHER ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both."

“Rule 06. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions. Neither do we.”

“Rule 07. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.”

“Rule 08. Just ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work. Nor do strong or even obvious hints. So just simply tell us what you want.”

“Rule 09. We don’t remember dates. So write birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar and remind us frequently before the event.”

“Rule 10. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.”

“Rule 11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to most of our questions.”

“Rule 12. Only come to us with a problem if you really want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends do.”

“Rule 13. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We won’t answer."

“Rule 14. Most men own at most three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we can help you decide which pair of your shoes, out of forty, goes best with your dress today?”

“Rule 15. We see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.”

“Rule 16. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.”

“Rule 17. When we have to go out somewhere, anything you wear is fine. Really.”

“Rule 18. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.”

“Rule 19. We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability does not mean that we don't care about you.”

“See,” he concluded, “that’s not even 20 rules to understanding what men want and how to keep a man happy. How about women? Is there an easy guide to understanding what women want and how to keep a woman happy?”

“Easier!” replied Isha. “Only two rules for a man to know, to keep his wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way. The other is to let her have it.”

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