Witty Stories

TaleTown.Org multimedia witty and humorous English short stories and retold tales

  • nurse jackie“Never anger your nurse,” Isha jokes with Rosh, when he fumes at her leaving Isha unattended & bleeding in the night following Josh’s forceps delivery.

  • Payday!"Other deductions can still be made, even if the employee will receive less than 60% of their net pay. So, the net pay could be zero, and it could still be legal."

    "Maybe", she pondered, "but would it be ethical?"

    "Ethics is a matter of opinion", he responded, "Commerce or Countries don't run on opinion".

  • I am Free"If she picks the black pebble, she would marry me and your debt would be forgiven."

    "If she picks the white one, she need not marry me but your debt would still be forgiven.”

  • 2009 NPC Novice Michigan Bodybuilding, Fitness, Figure & Bikini Championships"The US National Institute on Drug Abuse says that ultimately you get small balls because your body is so worried about making muscles, it forgets about your nuts."

    "So you get these huge muscles, but a TINY little package. Which will probably make the girls just laugh at you instead of being impressed."

  • Cute highland bullFunny Story: Permission To Drive Car

    How to say No to your kids?

    Retold Bible joke about a minister’s son who was told to get a haircut to drive his father’s car.

  • The Statue of Jesus Christ on the Cross in 798 Art Zone BeijingMath books and flash cards were spread out all over the room. Little Josh was hard at work.

    Isha was pleasantly surprised. She quietly closed his door, and backed away, not wanting to disturb him.

  • Sweet SorrowFunny tragic story: Rejecting Rejection

    A necessary survival skill in the modern world.

    How Rosh learns to deal with his New Zealand job rejection letters…

  • Naked woman in the dManage risk by Risk Management.

    Prevent avoidable exposure as risk can’t be eliminated. It can only be reduced.

    Rosh explains risk using a funny management joke.

  • Dung beetles"Render unto Caesar," he waved her away, "the things that are Caesar's, and unto yourself whatever else is left."

    "Is that right," she raged, "I'll render unto you a caesarean share all right. I do your shopping from tomorrow."

  • DON'T TOUCHThe Chapel Service takes its toll on little Josh's mind, when he attends one at Hosh's Boarding School one weekend.

    Funny story with retold Christian jokes...

  • When is our Ordeal going to be Over? (the Surreal Swallows Series Continued)"Don't start chirping," offered Josh, "until you're completely out of shit. Singing Hallelujahs can be dangerous in the wrong places and at the wrong times."

    "And... not everyone who shits on you is your enemy."

  • Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them“Every man loves two women”, Isha flared, “one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not yet born.”

    “You’re not a figment of my imagination”, Rosh pacified her, “And you were born a long time ago.”

  • For Fox Sake, Slow DownFunny Story With Driving Tips: Slow Doon Or Stop?

    With retold joke on how a Scottish traffic cop demonstrates the difference between stopping and slowing down.

  • Fighting after love!When soul mates turn into sole mates, nothing is sacrosanct.

    Rosh retaliates with naughty women jokes, but Isha finds the retold sexist jokes funny.

  • 238_3872Rosh laughed, covered it up with a cough, but did not turn towards her. He feigned a yawn, but she was having none of it today.

    “A yawning man demonstrates his impoliteness,” she giggled from behind him.

    “And a yawning woman – her capabilities,” he fired back.

  • Fire in the Sky"Pregnant?" Mrs. Maid was incredulous, "She can't be! She has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Missie?"

    "No mother!" the daughter had turned white, "I've never even kissed a man!"

  • The Bay Calls The Day"I'll grant you guys a wish each now, before I go," he said to show them his gratitude, "So long as it is reasonable, you can have anything you want. So tell me, what would you like?"

    "I've never heard a Jinn put a reasonability condition on wishes before granting them!" the contractor laughed.

  • Playing siblingsBoot them out! Ask them to take their fighting somewhere else where you don't have to hear it.

    When they know you're not going to take sides, the fighting often settles down quickly. A pecking order is quickly established.

    So lead, follow or get out of the way!

  • Monk chanting and praying in Samye Monastery, Tibet, January 2011 (Photo: Erik Törner, IMs bildarkiv)"And have you tamed your mind yet, my knowledgable husband?" Isha teased, clearing the dinner table.

    He smiled and replied, "No my dear, not yet. I try often, but I always fail."

  • Diwan-e-Aam"Then half he shall have," growled Akbar, "immediately!"

    At the snap of his fingers, soldiers rushed out to the gate and hastily hauled the fearful guard back with them.