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The Awful Truth, DRIVING HER UP THE WALLFunny story: Exciting period.

 

Rosh is excited by the buying opportunity created by UK Government support of Northern Rock but Isha finds other jokes exciting.

Previous TaleTown Story: Swimming With The Tide

Rosh sat in his bed, reading the stock market analysis when Isha came in.

"Anything exciting?" she asked, as she got in bed.

"Yeah," said Rosh. "Northern Rock Bank has had the first run on a British bank in more than a century. Its share price has crashed."

"On 17 September 2007, Northern Rock shares slid further, with the stock opening 31% lower after tumbling by a similar amount in the immediate wake of the Global Financial Crisis (GFC). Meanwhile, savers continued to queue at Northern Rock branches across the UK to withdraw their savings. "

"Chancellor Alistair Darling dramatically intervened to try and end this crisis, pledging that the UK government will guarantee all deposits lodged with Northern Rock. He said savers will not lose a penny and that his action was motivated by the importance he placed on maintaining a stable banking system."

"Should be an exciting period ahead if one were to buy its shares now, as Prime Minister Gordon Brown has also just implied that he won't let it fail."

"European Central Bank and US Fed have already pumped in huge amounts of cash in the market to boost liquidity, and Mervyn King, Governor of the Bank of England, might just have to make a U-turn on his 'No pumping' stance. What about your day?"

"Oh, nothing as exciting as a run on a bank," she answered, "pumping central bankers or jumping share markets. All is quiet on the home front. But I did hear a joke about another kind of exciting period today."

Rosh put away his laptop and looked at her.

"A kindergarten teacher," she began, "gave a homework assignment to her kids. They were to share with the class anything exciting they had found the day before."

"Now little Johnny had been building up a reputation to be a little crude. So, when the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher called them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Johnny, but eventually, his turn came too."

"He walked slowly up to the blackboard, picked up a piece of chalk, and made a small dot on the blackboard. Then he slowly walked back and sat back down."

"As nobody could fathom what he was on about, and he hadn't uttered a word, a frustrated expectation built up in the class. When the teacher couldn't bear it any longer, she asked him to explain himself."

"It's a period," said Johnny, unusually restrained.

"Well, I can see that!" she said. "But what is so exciting about a period?"

"Damned if I know," said Johnny. "But this morning, my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

Aftermath: Rosh eventually lost a lot of money on his Northern Rock purchases, as it turned out that Gordon Brown’s public assurance that he would not let Northern Rock fail only meant saving its depositors, but not its investors:
Thursday September 20 - The Bank of England makes a dramatic U-turn in its handling of the credit crisis by agreeing to pump at least £10bn into longer-term money markets.
Monday October 1 - The government announces a new regime guaranteeing 100% of an individual's bank and building society savings up to 35,000.
Tuesday October 9 - A guarantee put in place to protect Northern Rock customers is extended to cover all new deposits.

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