Shopping For A Husband

“Every man loves two women”, Isha flared, “one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not yet born.”

 

“You’re not a figment of my imagination”, Rosh pacified her, “And you were born a long time ago.”

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“Every man loves two women”, Isha flared, “one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not yet born.”

“You’re not a figment of my imagination”, Rosh pacified her, “And you were born a long time ago.”

“You’re calling me old?” Isha was affronted.

“You’ll get there too, eventually”, Rosh gave ground again, “The best of us do."

"But even when you do, you’ll know what to do. Few women admit their age.”

“And few men act theirs”, she fought back.

“I’m in no mood to fight today” Rosh sighed.

“You mean I am?” she yelled.

“Never have an argument with an idiot”, Rosh muttered, “they will drag you down to their level and beat you with their logic.”

“What was that?” she never liked it when he mumbled.

“I was counselling myself”, Rosh spoke up, “to use my good judgment, which has come from years of experience.”

“Experience comes from bad judgement”, Isha retorted, “So marrying me was a mistake, was it?”

She was like a dog today, with a bone between her jaws and in no mood to let go. No matter what he said, it was being taken in the wrong sense.

“Not for me, it wasn’t” he purred, “Maybe it was for you?”

“Maybe!” she ventured, then stopped suddenly, knowing she was now in dangerous territory.

Rosh looked quietly at her for a few moments, then stood up and walked out of the room. She followed him out, without a word.

He walked into his office and sat down in his chair. Silently he opened his laptop and began checking his emails.

She stood still behind him for a while, then touched him on his shoulder in a silent apology.

“A store that sold husbands opened up once” Rosh said, without turning back to look at her, “Any woman could go there and choose her husband.”

“There were six floors filled with men to choose from, arranged so that the desirable attributes the merchandise had, increased as you went up the levels.”

“The broad salient features men on any floor possessed, were noted on big plaques at each level. These plaques were clearly visible as soon as the elevator doors opened at any level.”

“By disembarking from the elevators at any floor, a female could shop at that floor and choose any male on that floor.”

“But a customer could only go up the levels. So if she chose to go up a floor or disembarked at any floor to shop, she couldn’t go back down again, except to exit the building.”

“Due to expected high demand, shopping for husbands was limited to one per shopper and to one visit to the Husband Mart per lifetime.”

“So a woman went to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor of the Husband Shop, the sign read: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.”

“The woman read the sign and said to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what they’ve got further up?"

“So up she went. The second floor sign read: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and they love kids.”

“The woman remarked to herself, "That's lovely, but I’ll still have to deliver the babies. Wonder what they’ve got further up?"

“So up she went again. The third floor sign read: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and help with the housework.”

"Ummm, now we are getting somewhere!" she said, "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

“The fourth floor sign read: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, help with housework, and are very handsome.”

"Wow!" exclaimed the woman, "getting tempting now. But there must be more, further up!"

“Again she rode to the next level. The fifth floor sign read: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, help with housework, are handsome and romantic.”

“Oooh, mercy me!” she cooed with excitement, “But just think ... what must be awaiting me further on?”

“Perhaps all that and wealthy?" Isha couldn’t help taking a punt, “Or young? Or famous?”

“Quite right” Rosh agreed after a long dramatic pause, “The possibilities were endless.”

“So up to the sixth floor she went. The sign there was digital. It flashed: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.”

“This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband Mart and have a nice day.”

“You chauvinist!” she croaked, as she bent down and bit him on his shoulder. Then she turned and walked away in a huff. But a smile was beginning to break out on her face.

Next TaleTown Story: Made For Each Other