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Marriage01-001Previous Story: How Tax Cuts Work

"What's so funny?" Rosh growled.

Isha had been giggling away at her laptop for some time now and he found it irksome. He had been trying to concentrate to finish his report on his laptop.

"It's an old online joke," she giggled again and read it aloud to him:

Dear Tech Support,

Subject: System Upgrade. Wife 1.0 Just Released

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me please!


A Troubled User

"Marriage is a laddu you regret, if you eat," Rosh smiled, "and regret, if you don't eat. This guy's in trouble."

"Tech Support thinks so too," Isha smiled. "Here is their response:"

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem men complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original install.

Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). It clearly states that in using this program, you must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause.

I can only suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR now to alleviate software augmentation.

Another useful course of action may be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command anyway before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but can be very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K.

Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Mini Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Look in your manual under 'Warnings- Alimony/Child support'.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

Best of Luck,

Tech Support

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